Most players have run into it. You can’t fix the internet, but you can make your own games a lot quieter.
Short version
- In the ADL’s 2023 survey, about three in four adult and teen players said they’d been harassed in online games.
- Setting voice chat and messages to friends only blocks most harassment before it starts.
- Mute first, then report with a recording; evidence makes reports count.
- Threats, doxxing and sexual contact with minors belong with the police or the NCMEC CyberTipline, not just the platform.
If you’ve ever been screamed at by a stranger for missing a shot, you’re in a very large club. In the Anti-Defamation League’s 2023 survey of online multiplayer games, 76% of adult players and 75% of players aged 10 to 17 said they had experienced harassment. Much of it is trash talk that went too far. Some of it targets people’s identities, and a smaller share escalates into threats or doxxing.
You can’t fix other people. You can change what reaches you.
Five minutes of settings
Do this once and most of the problem goes away:
- Voice chat: friends only, or off. Most harassment arrives by voice. Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo Switch and Steam all let you limit who can talk to you, and many games have a separate setting of their own. Check both.
- Messages and invites: friends only. This stops most unsolicited messages.
- Profile privacy. Hide your real name, online status and friends list from people you don’t know.
- Chat filters on. Many games and platforms filter slurs and abusive words. Check what level yours is set to.
- Keep social accounts separate. Linking Instagram or other profiles to your gamertag makes you easier to find.
In the moment: mute, then report
Muting is instant, one-sided and invisible. You don’t have to win the argument or have the last word. Leave the match if you want to.
Then report. Platforms find repeat offenders through reports, and specific ones work best: the player’s name, roughly when it happened and what was said. Xbox and PlayStation both let you attach a short voice chat recording to a report.
Player tip
Learn your capture button. Most consoles and PC overlays can save a clip of the last few minutes, and a report tied to a recording is much harder to wave away.
When it goes past trash talk
| Situation | What to do |
|---|---|
| Threats of violence | Save evidence, report it to the platform, and contact local police if you think the threat is real |
| Doxxing (your personal details posted) | Report it where it was posted, secure your accounts and consider telling the police |
| A swatting threat | Tell your local police; some departments let residents flag an address so dispatchers know a hoax call is possible |
| Sexual messages to a minor | Report to the platform and to the NCMEC CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org or 1-800-843-5678 |
| Extortion, including sextortion | Don’t pay. Save everything and report it to the FBI at tips.fbi.gov |
For parents
Child accounts on every major console have the same controls, and parents can lock them: voice chat off or friends only, approval for new friends, and limits on who can send messages. Talk with your kids about what to do when someone is cruel or asks for personal information, and make it clear they won’t lose their games for telling you. Strangers who offer in-game currency or items in exchange for photos or personal details are a known tactic. The money side, including spending limits, is in our guide to free-to-play games.
A break is a valid strategy
If a game’s community wears you down, playing solo, with friends only, or something else for a while is a perfectly reasonable response. A smoother connection takes some heat out of matches too; these fixes for lag are worth a look.
Quick questions
Does the other player know I muted or blocked them?
Muting is usually invisible to them. Blocking may become obvious when they can’t message or invite you, but platforms don’t normally send a notice.
Do reports actually do anything?
You rarely hear the outcome, and a single report may not change much. Reports are still how platforms find repeat offenders and suspend them, so they’re worth the minute.
Should I play under my real name?
Not with strangers. Use a gamertag that doesn’t reveal your name, age, school or location, and keep the same rule for profile pictures.
Store policies, subscription terms and platform features change often. This guide is general information for players in the U.S., not legal advice; check the current terms on the store’s or platform’s own help pages before relying on them.